44: Alien 2: On Earth (1980, Ciro Ippolito [as "Sam Cromwell"])

Owned version: The 2011 DVD released by Midnight Legacy as their fledgling - and ultimately only - entry into the market. They had big plans, and the subsequent collapse of the label is quite the lesson in hubris and marketing. (Lesson 1: Maybe don't start your label with a bottom-tier obscurity even genre heads aren't crazy about.)

Acquired: April 29th, 2012, from a vendor stationed outside the theater as I was headed into Exhumed Films's eX-Fest, a yearly 12-hour marathon of exploitation films. This was the first and only time I've been able to attend, so it's nice to have this disc as a souvenier.

Seen before?: Once from this disc, on March 4th, 2017 - was at the time researching knockoffs of Alien and Aliens in preparation for an article I never got around to writing.

The title offers a ripoff. The subtitle promises the mythical sequel the franchise proper promised multiple times but never quite got around to making. The film itself... is all of the above and more. Alien 2: On Earth follows a group of young Italians (one of whom has telepathic powers) as they go spelunking in San Diego following a strange incident involving a returning spacecraft and some missing astronauts. Once they leave topside roughly half an hour in, they're on earth but might as well not be for all the available natural light, and this isn't lost on Ippolito. His main directorial trick is to have the intrepid climbers shine their helmets directly into the camera, which is obvious but remarkably effective and surprising in its versatility - he gets looming shadows and lens flares (there's a great one where he frames it so the lens flare stretches directly across the protagonist's eyes as she's trying to telepathically locate a missing member of the party), but he also pushes further, exploiting the enveloping darkness to send them into deep space without leaving the terra firma. Seriously, check these shot of the party about to descend, which looks for all the world like an extreme close-up of a constellation:

Or this subsequent one during the descent:

There's a conscious artistry here that belies the film's status as a low-budget ripoff - this is a film made by people who genuinely wanted to make the best film they could with the materials they had. In the world of Italian genre knockoffs, a world where people like Bruno Mattei and Andrea Bianchi can thrive, that's a refreshing thing to find.

It isn't just tricks of the light, either. The cutting is often functional but can be bluntly effective when the time calls for it, like a cut from an exploding alien rock to the flash of a Polaroid camera, or a quick shock-cut away from a little girl on a beach whose face has been turned into hamburger. (How she's crying with no face-holes left is a mystery, but the shot is kicked away fast enough that we're not left much space to think about that.) And while the cramped setting doesn't allow for much in the way of virtuoso camerawork, there's still the occasional stylistic flourish that catches attention, like the slow tracking shot starting from a rope at a man's feet that goes down the length of a prone woman's body, ending at her head, at which point her face promptly explodes and ejects something slimy.

As the creature emerges, it has one of the lady's eyeballs balanced on its head - a goofy, gross touch that puts this entirely in line with others of its ilk. Past the unique setting and the effective use of it, Ippolito's main stock in trade is enthusiastic, lumpy splatter; while the majority of the shock scenes are confined to the back half of the film, once they arrive, they're pleasingly gnarly. Heads explode, dangling bodies are emptied out, things burst from various fleshy hiding places, people are munched... it's a good time in that peculiar tempura-paint way at which Italian gore films are so skilled. The contrast between the beasts here and the one in its inspiration is interesting - where Giger's monster is sleek perfection, the low-rent cousins we get here are all blood and sinews, moist rubber mounds of tentacles and unidentifiable chunky flesh. If anything, they somewhat resemble a gluey mass of crimson, wavering stalactites, and whether that's a knowing tip of the cap to the setting, a nod towards their origins within mysterious glowing space rocks, both, or neither, it works in its way.

Alien 2 also reveals itself as a product comfortably nestled in a very specific genre/country movement when we get to the end. The missing-astronaut drama, after running as background noise for most of the first act and vanishing completely when they go into the caves, finally dovetails itself into the main story. Ippolito sets the stage tonally within the first thirty minutes - there's a concentration in finding the unsettling in the mundane, in the still darkness of a garage or the too-noisy clatter of a busy bowling alley - and that pays off once the survivors of the underworld fracas finally re-emerge into the light. For all its idiocy and dorkiness (Great Moments in Dialogue: "Where'd I find it? I found it where people find things!"), this carries with it a horror of oblivion and the inevitability of same, something it shares with Zombie and Nightmare City and Inferno and other such fully-limbic contemporaneous works. Once certain wheels have been set in motion, you can only ignore it for so long before it comes for you too.

43: Alien (1979, Ridley Scott)

Owned version: The Fox Blu-ray released in 2010 as part of the Alien Anthology set.

Acquired: January 4th, 2016 from Amazon as part of a promotional bundle they were offering combining this set and a standalone Blu of Prometheus.

Seen before?: Three times - once on VHS some time in the mid-'90s, once in October of 2003 during the theatrical release of the director's cut and once from this disc on March 9th, 2017.

 While a film student at USC, Dan O'Bannon wrote a script that would become the film Dark Star. That film, the directorial debut of fellow USC student John Carpenter, is a dry, amusing sci-fi comedy about a small crew of astronauts tasked with destroying rogue planets. O'Bannon uses this as a hook on which to hang his sympathies for the worker drone - above all else, Dark Star is about being stuck in a dead-end job, one where you hate your coworkers and they hate you and everyone is stressed and cranky and all you can do is plow ahead and dream of the day you don't have to do this shit anymore.

His next film was more or less the same thing.

If nothing else, Alien is one of the greatest portraits of the hazards of blue-collar life ever put on film. That it takes place in space and prominently features an ill-tempered murderous lifeform slaughtering its cast does nothing to diminish this - it is, in fact, a scenario only strengthened by the facts of its characters' day-to-day existence.This is, of course, not a new insight - it's been written about fairly often - but the fact that these people are just anonymous grunts doing a job, not scientists or astronauts or anyone else who might be prepared to deal with the situation makes the spectre of their potential deaths loom all the larger. Their expendability is the point - even before the appearance of the Xenomorph, there's danger enough in a job that requires those who do it to roam an isolated metal container light years away from any sort of help or backup. The hull-breach sequence is the most striking example of this - sirens screaming and flashing lights sputtering through the darkness as the crew tries to mitigate the damage while outside, the wind on an alien planet howls like a demon, shrieking a warning of disinvitation. Life is fragile, the job is dangerous and the crew is being asked to do things they shouldn't; when Parker files this exact objection, saying, "It's not in my contract to do this kind of duty," he's threatened with "total forfeiture of shares." (It's also made clear that Parker and Brett, the fix-it guys constantly working underneath the rest of the crew, are getting paid less than the rest. Hierarchies within hierarchies.) Any one of a thousand things could have gone wrong and killed everyone on board, which is one reason why Alien is already a nervous affair prior to the chest-burst.

Another reason is more sinister: The alien is clearly not the only villain on board. When things do go wrong, there's nothing and no one to reason with - all that surrounds is rickety metal run by indifferent, unfeeling computers under the thrall of the orders programmed into them by the corporate masters who sent these people into the sky to die. The opening scene contrasts the efficient workings of the autopilot system, humming away without a soul in sight, with the empty corridors of the ship proper, finally settling into the hypersleep room, a bright and fluorescently sterile room where the ship's ostensible crew slumbers away. The film hasn't even started and already the humans in the story are marked as superfluous. When things go south and the alien escapes its host, Scott keeps cutting back to Ash, his grim and impassive curiosity standing out against the screams and panic evinced by his crewmates, his inhumanity blossoming by the moment. The shock-reveal of his true nature, in retrospect, is telegraphed in a lot of clever ways; I especially appreciated his lack of sweatiness, the only being wandering through this hothouse without a drop of liquid on his brow. IN the aftermath of Kane's rupture, the crew is essentially left adrift - stonewalled from learning how to defend themselves by an unresponsive Mother(ship) and a corporate android mole. Ripley tries to find ways to reword a question about survivability to get a straight answer from Mother, utlimately settling on WHAT ARE MY CHANCES? The response: DOES NOT COMPUTE. Ash, reduced to a milk-spewing head, intones, "I cant lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathy." Both machines playing their part to crush the working stiff, beholden to their programming as much as the Xenomorph is beholden to its instincts towards predation. All that and it's a real motherfucker of a horror film.

Also, if this isn't the only film in which Harry Dean Stanton meows, it's definitely the best.